Valentine’s Day 2015 … Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

So this afternoon, the husband comes in dog tired and asks me what I want to do tonight.  For Valentine’s Day … like we ever do much on Valentine’s Day.   Actually, we never do anything on Valentine’s Day.

So I get online and pull up our local cinema and see what is playing.  American Sniper … seen it.  Paddington … umm, no.  Sponge Bob … umm HELLNO.  One, two, no … make that three sci-fi ‘thrillers’ … wtf is that all about anyway?  Oh … and then there’s J Lo and her bootylicious, cougar drama … hmmm.   Fifty Shades it is.  This is freakin’ Valentine’s Day and there’s not one Nicholas Sparks film out? Hollywood really left us lovers very little choice then didn’t they?

First of all, I don’t get the looks we got when we were getting our tickets.  Like … yeah, I’m watching a movie for grown ups … with real naked grown ups IN it too!  Go watch sponge bob surf already.  Sheesh.  I really wanted to pop some people in the mouth for rolling their eyes at us.  I mean my hand was actually twitching.

Having read the books … and the fan fiction before it was the books, I know exactly what this movie is about and I was really anxious.  Every time I’ve read a book that gets made into a film, I worry that it’s not going to live up to the book.  I worry that people will judge it too harshly.  I mean, the book had one author.  The movie has a cast of many.  I guess I just don’t want anyone’s feelings getting hurt.

I was surprised that there was as much comedic moments throughout the movie.  I really didn’t expect it and it really lightened the mood.  Did I mention that my husband started looking at me weirdly from the get go; that whole ‘is this the stuff you sit online and read all the time?’.   So there I sat, worried that he would grill me all the way home from the cinema.

By the time it was over … which was way too soon in my opinion, he was really into it.   I figured the movie would be in thirds as the books were, but yes, like a fool I still held out hope that it would be one long 8 hour film.  LOL

I am pretty sure that I could recognize Dakota Johnson’s nipples anywhere.  In the dark even.  They should get top billing they’re on the screen so much.  I can only wish that I had gotten so familiar with Jamie Dornan’s tackle as I felt with Dakota’s naked body. People are calling it porn.  It isn’t porn.  There was no penetration.  Well there actually was, but they didn’t show the penetration … therefore it is NOT porn.  It’s just another film for grownups for a change which has nudity and grown up topics in it and absolutely no out of water sponges or stupid starfish to mention whatsoever.

So we’re in the truck shivering because it’s 15 degrees … not because we’re all worked up over the movie.  I knew how the movie would end. I read the book.  The husband was really upset that it ended when it did.  He wants to know what happens next.  Hell, so do I!  He asks me if he has to come back to another movie to see what happens … I said, ‘no’.  ‘You have to come back and watch two more movies to see what happens.”

The look on his face. LOL

So the movie was great.  I really hope they keep the same cast for the next two.  I can’t stand when a movie with more than one part is recast and then it just ruins it.  Like the new Victoria in Twilight.  What was wrong with the first Victoria? Nothing. See?

Anyway, the downside to my night was the guy sitting beside me.  He was a real catch.  Had his lucky lady with him too.  He was a mouth breather. He breathed … too much in my opinion.

Oh…and he had beer and nachos right  before the movie. Blechhh!

Happy Valentine’s Everyone!

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false life

Last night I had a dream.  This dream was so realistic and fantastic that it was as if I had lived someone else’s life in one night’s sleep.  I find myself now wishing for more sleep, maybe a coma even, if only that life would return in place of my own.

I’d always been musically gifted.  Since I was a young child, my gift from God amazed my parents.  I seemed to have a natural ability to listen to a song and then play it back on the piano as if I’d known it for years.  In fact, it was the only thing I had to make me feel special.  I wasn’t a beautiful child and school wasn’t my strong suit either.  Maybe God knew that music would be what I needed to get my through life.

Music was fun and easy as a child.  I guess I was just too young to realize what pariahs people can be where there’s money to be made.  People would gather when I played and I’d seen many a person cry, saying how beautifully I played.  Piano had been so easy and soon I’d learned to play guitar.  I’m not sure which I liked the most because both are so versatile.  My mother didn’t want me playing the guitar though, said women weren’t supposed to play guitar.  Sometimes she could be a little too preachy for my tastes.  She only wanted me to play piano and sing.  Although I could sing, I chose not to; pretty much just to piss her off.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t like the attention.  I thoroughly enjoyed being made over and talked about as if I were a star.  I even began to think I was better than others because I possessed a gift which they did not.  As if my life were more important than theirs just because I could do something they couldn’t; how ridiculous is that?

As I got older, I caught on to how manipulative grown ups can be.  I still wanted nothing more than to compose, play, and expose people to my music.  My father had other plans.  My mother had her own plans as well.  Wait just a damn minute!  This is MY life right?  What about MY plans?  My mother wanted nothing more than for me to spend the next 20 years playing at the big church on the corner, as their services were  broadcast and for whatever reason, she thought that’s what I should be doing.  My father went so far as to quit his job of 17 years so he could try to promote my abilities to the highest bidder.  The first summer with him home 24/7 was the worst summer break I ever had.  I couldn’t wait to get back to school.  Maybe it was simply because I was a teen wanting a teen life or maybe it was the fact that all my father wanted to do was shove me into producer’s faces and try to make me into someone I wasn’t ready to be.  Either way, I was resenting the idea of my being the top earner in our house.  Sometimes I found myself wishing I’d been born with no particular talents at all.  Would my parents have loved me less if I were just a normal smartaleck teenage kid?
My first party I got to attend was the 18th birthday of pretty much my only friend in the world.  Jess had been nice to me when everyone else treated me like the freak my parents were turning me into.  Had it not been for her befriending me, most of the kids would have avoided me altogether.  Jess was special though; she was beautiful, funny, a straight A student and all the popular kids wanted to be around her.  So I considered myself lucky that for some reason, she chose me to be her best friend.  I could always be myself around her and she told me secrets that she’d never share with anyone else.  I guess it was the fact that we were so comfortable with each other’s company, that our friendship was rock solid.

Her uncle got her tickets to a concert in Nashville for her birthday.  So many were trying to get her to take them but all she would say is, “Sorry, Jodie and I are going”.  I was so happy, you’d have thought it was MY birthday.  Jess told my parents that her uncle and aunt were taking us to the concert, and that was the only reason that they let me go.  That and the fact that I’d told them if they didn’t, I’d sneak out and go anyway.  They never let me do anything!  I have all the time in the world to be an adult; just let me be a teen first for pete’s sake.

The opening band was really good, of course, Jess had seen them before.  Her uncle had connections and had brought her to concerts before this one.  Tonight though, it was just two young girls among a sea of stoned, drunk, pumped up, wild people.  Her uncle and aunt just dropped us off, another part of her  birthday gift, trusting her to have fun without getting into too much trouble.  My parents wouldn’t dream of giving me that kind of freedom; if they knew it was just us girls, they’d have my ass buckled in the back seat and headed home, preaching to me the whole trip.      Then the music stopped and fog rolls over the stage and we wait…then as people start screaming and jumping up and down, I can see guys walking out onto the stage.  Being in the sixth row back gave us a pretty good view of the stage and I was so glad Jess loved me this much.

His guitar looked worn out, peeling and faded from years of use; I still couldn’t see him for the fog.  Then he started playing and it was like he had cast a spell over me.  I could play guitar too but this man was a god among all other musicians.  He made his guitar sing out like I didn’t know was even possible.  Then as the fog finally lifted, I could make out his face; the way he drew his mouth as he played.  At times it even looked like pain on his face as he held the long high notes.  I was in complete and total awe.  This man was the only one on that stage as far as I was concerned and I had to meet him.  I immediately had the illusion that we could make music together and have a magical life that would make my parents leave our little hometown out of shame.  That night was the night of my revelation; what I wanted to do with my life.  I wanted to be a part of his life in any way I could.  I wanted to be a famous rock star.  I wanted people to scream my name the way they did his.  Stevie…Stevie…Stevie!

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